I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
