Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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