A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
