He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
