i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
