this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
