I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
