I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
