There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
