i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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