I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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