She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
