He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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