Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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