Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Boobs speak an international language.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
