How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
me + whiskey = a bad person
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
