Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
