I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
