i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
