Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
