So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize