I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize