Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
