Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
