sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize