Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
