? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
