I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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