yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize