can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
