I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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