she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
