He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
