you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
