haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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