they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize