Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
