Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize