I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
