He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
