Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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