I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
