I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
