My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
