She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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