What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize