You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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