Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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