I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize