If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
