So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
