Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need water and some morals
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
