I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
