don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
