I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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