i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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