my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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