The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize