Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize