wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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