i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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