Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dick very happy bro
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
